


the emotion

by tusslee



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Blind V (Mystic Messenger), Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I JUST REALLY LOVE THEM, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, emotional boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tusslee/pseuds/tusslee
Summary: “You,” Jumin let out the breath he’d been holding, “you don’t regret it?”“What I regret is chasing after something I could never catch when I had you beside me the whole time. Loving you is not something I’ll ever regret.” V stated firmly as his arm looped around Jumin’s waist.





	

Jumin wanted to blame the wine and a part of him did, but he also blamed himself and his impulsiveness that was only ever bad when it came to V. His boundaries knew no limits where V was concerned, which was nothing new, but he figured he finally shoved things past the breaking point when he woke to warm breath against his face and a naked V beneath his sheets. 

Something akin to panic bubbled up into his throat, but he didn’t feel an ounce of regret. If anything, he felt relieved. He couldn’t remember ever being so honest. V flayed him wide open and took a good look at everything Jumin had fought so hard to bury, seen it all, and accepted it. V had always understood him better than Jumin understood himself, so it shouldn’t have come as such a shock to see the ease with which V received him and the mess of emotions that came along with him, but Jumin hadn’t expected it. 

Their relationship, while close, had become strained. As tension rose with Rika, V continued to pull further and further away from Jumin until Jumin forcibly yanked him back into place. The argument had been mostly one-sided with Jumin demanding answers that V would not, or could not give. V apologized endlessly, something Jumin detested and eventually they both gave in. That was the closest Jumin could remember being to tears since he was a child. 

V had changed. There was no other way to describe his almost indifferent behavior. His head was always somewhere in the clouds, thoughts seemingly miles away. Jumin remained stagnant, the only constant V had in his momentarily chaotic life until everything screeched to a halt the moment Rika died. The shock had rocked Jumin to his core and what was more, V disappeared. Suddenly and without warning, Jumin lost two of the most important people in his life yet still managed to hold himself together. 

The flurry of emotions that followed Rika’s death and V’s disappearance were unwarranted and unwanted. Jumin tamped them down as quickly as possible, choosing rather to sink himself in his work than try to address or understand them. They weighed heavy on his shoulders and as the months dragged on without any contact from V, they slowly began to eat him alive. 

Almost as suddenly as he disappeared, V reappeared nearly a year later. The relief that rolled through Jumin was nearly tangible when he answered the phone and it was V on the other end. The conversation was of little importance, only V informing Jumin that he was parked in front of his home and minutes later he was standing before Jumin as if he never left. 

Jumin felt frozen in place. Whatever hold he had left on his emotions quickly vanished as he appraised his best friend. V looked thinner, unhealthily so. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent even if they were partially hidden behind his sunglasses. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Jumin’s voice was thick with emotion, laced with relief. 

V shook his head, clearly unsure where to begin or if he even should try for an explanation, but Jumin didn’t care. He crossed the room in seconds to envelope V in a tight embrace. V’s arms came to wrap around Jumin’s middle and he sagged against the taller man, head resting against his shoulder as he held him. “I’m sorry.” V murmured repeatedly, like a mantra. Jumin pulled away only to remove V’s sunglasses and really look at him. 

“I’ve missed you.” Was the only thing Jumin could think to say. V laughed humorlessly and unwound his arms from around Jumin’s waist. He still stood close and eventually his hands came to rest splayed against Jumin’s chest. 

“I missed you too.”

“You didn’t answer my calls or my texts. I thought the worst, Jihyun.” Jumin admitted quietly as his fingers moved on their own accord to thread through V’s hair. V’s foggy eyes wavered as they searched for Jumin, never quite finding him. He worked his bottom lip between his teeth then sighed. 

“I can’t… I know I owe you a lot of explanations, but unfortunately all I can tell you is that I’m sorry I gave you no notice. I knew you would have kept me from leaving so I didn’t want to speak with you. It would have been more difficult to stay away had I answered you. I needed that time, Jumin. I hope you’ll forgive me one day, but I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon.” V’s fingers fisted in Jumin’s shirt. Jumin could feel him trembling, whether from nerves or something else entirely he didn’t know. 

Did any of it really matter? Where V was or what he was doing seemed insignificant so long as he was back now and Jumin knew he was safe. “I’m just glad you’re here.” Jumin said then hugged V to him again. It felt almost too good to be real, but he knew he wasn’t creative enough to dream something so realistic. Eventually, Jumin stepped back and reeled his emotions in lest they overflow again. “Tea, coffee?” He offered.

“Something stronger, perhaps?” V asked with a sheepish smile.

“Of course. Make yourself comfortable.” Jumin disappeared to the kitchen, leaving V to wander until Elizabeth rubbed against his legs. He smiled and sat down on the couch to pet her. Jumin brought two wine glasses and one of V’s favorite bottles, poured them each a glass, and then sat beside V, overly conscious of the minimal space between them. “It would seem I was not the only one who missed you.” 

“Jumin, I’m sorry,” V began, but Jumin didn’t let him continue.

“No more apologies, Jihyun. I won’t press the matter if it’s not something you can talk about, but I’d at least like to know one thing.”

“Anything I can tell you I will.” V assured.

The question had been burning in the back of Jumin’s mind since he first found out, “Why didn’t you tell me about Rika’s condition? I understand why you kept it from Yoosung, but not why you kept it from me.” 

V worried the hem of his shirt in his fingers as he searched for the right words. He doubted Jumin would understand his impulses, or his reasoning behind trying to keep everyone safe at the same time. “I thought it’d be best for everyone.” V admitted, feeling a bit pathetic for the excuse. “I didn’t want anyone to hurt her and I didn’t want her hurting anyone, but things slipped through my hands too quickly. I failed on both ends.” 

“None of what happened was your fault. Jihyun, listen to me. These things were out of your control.” Jumin attempted to comfort him, afraid his words sounded as meaningless as they felt, but V hid his face beneath his hair and curled in on himself as he began to cry. 

“I thought I could fix things. I thought it was what was best. I was just trying to keep everyone safe, keep them from worrying.” V sniffled then wiped away the tears that were falling freely. Jumin ached, but didn’t know what to do other than scoot closer and wrap an arm around V’s shaking shoulders. “I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry…” Jumin pulled him tightly to his side, then caught his chin with his thumb and forefinger, angling V’s face up till he could look at him properly. 

“Okay. It’s okay.” Jumin spoke softly, watched how V’s brows furrowed and his tears continued to flow. V had always been a bit on the emotional side, but it was rare for him to cry and especially so like this. Seeing him like this made Jumin feel helpless. 

After a prolonged silence, V’s shaking slowed and his tears dried on his cheeks. His eyelids were heavy as he leaned into Jumin. “I apologize for my behavior.” V said, voice almost a whisper. 

“I know you have it in your head that you need to protect everyone all the time, but it’s not realistic. Certain things cannot be avoided and I know you tried your best. What’s important to me now is that you’re here.” V shifted until he was sat facing Jumin, eyes closed and fingers wrapped around Jumin’s wrist.

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” V said so Jumin handed him his wine and they allowed a comfortable silence to settle over them. They drank until both the bottle and their glasses were empty, until V was pink in the face and Jumin felt too much of everything at once. It’d been V who got up first and stumbled slightly. Jumin led him to the bedroom and they both shed half their clothes before stretching out comfortably on top of the sheets. 

Jumin sat with his back against the headboard and hand in V’s hair while V lied beside him, eyes closed and one hand on Jumin’s thigh. It was intimate in an innocent way, but Jumin was hyper-aware of V every time he moved, or sighed. He couldn’t place a name with the feeling, but with it there was a stirring of anxiety for reasons he couldn’t be sure of. Maybe it was V. Maybe it was having him this close. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was everything all at once.

“I received all of the text messages and voicemails you left me. It was awful hearing you so worried.” V spoke up, eyes opening to stare blankly at the ceiling.

“I just wanted you to come home. I thought the worst and had a hard time focusing on anything else. I was unaware the power you held over me until you were gone. I didn’t know what to do with all the things I was feeling, so I did nothing. I sunk myself in work and assured myself you’d return because had I done anything else, I think I would have lost my footing.” Jumin voiced the thoughts that he’d kept inside for so long and felt bare.

“Jumin, it’s okay to feel things.” V said quietly, hand tightening its grip on Jumin’s thigh. 

“It’s irrational, illogical, and unnecessary. Why waste the time and energy when it could easily be put to good use elsewhere? Is what I thought. I had no control over what I felt after you left and I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused or more scared in my life. I still don’t know how to feel. Even if I want to let myself, I don’t think I know how.” Jumin’s voice wavered as he spoke. V moved to sit up until he was invading Jumin’s personal space. Jumin could smell the wine on his breath, feel the warmth radiating from his body. His eyes flickered momentarily to V’s lips then he swallowed.

“It’s human to feel certain things. You’re human. There’s no one here but me, so you don’t have to hide or pretend. You’ve always been painfully obvious, whether you know it or not. While you may be good at hiding your emotions from other people, I know you better than that. I’ve been beside you for more than twenty years, Jumin. Don’t think I can’t figure you out when need be.” The small smile the lifted the corner of V’s mouth was probably what made Jumin close the distance between them. It was an easy, natural thing to do and it felt _right_. V made a sound of surprise in his throat, but didn’t pull away. Slowly, he returned the kiss until they were both breathless. 

From there things spiraled out of control, perhaps taken too far, or perhaps right where they were meant to wind up in the end anyway. 

V still slept soundly beside Jumin, hair at odd angles from Jumin’s fingers and a decent night of sleep. The bruises along his neck were proof of either a huge mistake, or a step in the right direction. Jumin wasn’t sure yet, couldn’t be sure until V woke up and either smiled at him or decided to disappear from his life again. He was at least sure of one thing: he needed V. Not only did the man balance him out, but he kept him grounded, made him feel like there was at least one person in the world who understood him and who he could count on. 

When foggy blue eyes cracked open, Jumin’s breath caught in his chest and his fingers stilled where they were drifting aimlessly along V’s back. V blinked and reached out for Jumin until his fingers touched warm skin. He smiled, “Not a dream then.” He mused sleepily.

“No.” Jumin confirmed. 

V hummed and his eyes fluttered closed again, “Good.”

“You,” Jumin let out the breath he’d been holding, “you don’t regret it?”

“What I regret is chasing after something I could never catch when I had you beside me the whole time. Loving you is not something I’ll ever regret.” V stated firmly as his arm looped around Jumin’s waist. 

_Love?_

Jumin hid his smile in V’s fluff of blue hair. If this was love he figured he’d have to come to terms with the rest of the raging emotions he kept under lock and key, but that didn’t seem like such a feat so long as Jihyun was once again by his side.


End file.
